Masae - 優江
by Hometown Smile
Summary: The life I was once living didn't hold a lot of possibilities and future for me. Weird that death gave me everything I never had before; friends, family and a life to actually enjoy. Kinda. Self-Insert / Uchiha!OC
1. - zero

_**A/N**_ _: Hey and welcome to my first Self-Insert fanfiction. I had been thinking about this a lot and finally came up with something that I'm quite pleased with. I really enjoyed writing the first part (this one) and hope you guys do that as well. Don't be so harsh with me if there are misspellings and whatsoever. English certainly is not my first language, but I really try my best. I think I also overdid myself in terms of the length of this chapter. It was supposed to be way shorter, but I just couldn't stop writing._

 _I was inspired by a lot of different SI/OC stories and they all motivated me to write my own, as you can see. Right now I will go with the flow and will see which direction the story will take. In terms of pairings, potential partners, etc.: I don't have romances planned for now. But you're free to make your own assumptions. I will always leave space for you to fantasize._

 _That being said, have fun reading!_

* * *

Death is this really big black hole of nothing everybody is so afraid of. An unknown body with questionable size filled with so many shapes in form of thoughts, ideas, memories and even more. Everything that a person who passed away takes with them, to have at least something to hold on. Death to many persons is a spectacle of its own. It's hard to define and find a right definition because this isn't something you can easily generalize.

Does Death go by a different name? Does it have a Flavour? If yes, is it bitter, salty or rather sweet? Does it smell like anything? The smell of burning firewood, some overly sweet deodorant or like the distinctive scent of freshly mown grass? There are so many more points to what death really is and what the individual sees in it.

I myself have never thought about death and its progress before. I mean, of course, I had at some point, like ethics class back in school taught me a lot of things about it, gave me space to build my own thoughts. So did movies, documentaries and so on. We get confronted with this topic most likely every day. But, what happens after all of that? After the miserable pain regardless of which kind of death we suffer? There's only one way to know.

 _Die_.

Not the type of answer people want to here, I know, but what else is there to say? Right, nothing really.

My death to be very honest was not that spectacular. Not that there's a 'spectacular death', but I don't think it was that much of a big deal. I didn't really had a place to call home or family, was always wondering around searching for something that was so out of reach. Overthought to much and as a result of that got hit by a car, that my already dead senses had blended out just so perfectly. Was it shocking? Of course, but there was more to that.

Ever since that day, I have been pretty much living in a warm and comfortable bubble - that's what I would call it - that created the kind of safe space I needed so badly. I can just doze right off without having to worry about a thing, which is more than welcoming. And I never really felt alone, like somebody was sharing this bubble with me. I heard voices from outside, sweet and calming. Sometimes I felt a light tap on the back of my head I would say, a touch I wanted to lean in so badly. But there was always this wall between us that left me so frustrated. Which made me wonder: did I was really that longing for physical contact? I guess I must be. I can't even remember the last time someone had touched me. It had been ages. I tried many things, like following the movements of the presumable hands that waved in circles all over my safe space. Tried to follow the traces and meet the hands with mine when it stopped moving.

But with all good things happening, there had to be a crux of the matter. It approached slowly and with every day it got a little bit worse. It felt like there wasn't enough space in this once comfortable bubble anymore. My sense of time had long faded away, but this was something that happened way to fast. Forced out of a place I was familiar with, that I learned to love and rely on. Again. And I could curse myself for getting so attached a second time when I should know better.

I was somehow moving. I don't even know where I was going, but this whole journey was breathtaking. Literally. There were ends where it seemed nothing was making progress. Like everything stopped. Every movement halted. And with one-second following came this huge overwhelming feeling that made me want to cry.

And I cried. Shrieked, wailed, everything dull to my ears. It was cold, way too bright, everything blurred out and whoever had a hold of me was way to rough.

But then I heard this incredible sweet voice that I remembered listening to when I was still in my bubble. I didn't understand what they were saying, but it comforted me nonetheless.

* * *

The sweat rolled in thick drops down Mikotos temples, leaving wet streaks next to the dried up ones where tears had left their traces behind. The woman was overwhelmed, emotions just dancing right off of her. She never knew a human could feel this much all together. The horrible pain of labor was slowly fading after she held her children in her arms.

Twins.

It had been a surprise to both new parents to find out. Mikoto had been happy from the moment on she found out, ignoring the risks of pregnancy and birth of two children at the same time. Fugaku had been shocked but was welcoming the idea of two kids just fine.

"They are beautiful.", she mumbled quietly, but loud enough for her husband to hear. Mikoto could not take her eyes off the two babies.

"Yes, they are." Fugaku smiled next to her, settled in the hospital chair beside his wife's bed. He maybe didn't shed a tear, but he was just as happy as Mikoto. And the names he picked out for them would be so well fitting.

"Itachi," The male Uchiha looked at his newborn son and smiled, then turning to the other twin.

"Masae.", he finished and caressed his daughters face with his thumb and chuckled as the baby grimaced, showing a pair of semi deep dimples.

Mikoto watched the scene with fresh tears in her eyes.

" _Welcome to the world, little ones._ "

* * *

I was never a religious person.

The thought of an afterlife was a quite untouching topic for me.

But somehow, I was reborn. Reincarnated.

 _As Uchiha Masae._

 _Younger Twin to Uchiha Itachi._

And this is my story.

With yet, a lot to come.


	2. 一 - ichi

_**A/N**_ _: And that would be the first actual chapter! I hope you enjoy it as much as the 'prologue'._

 _There is still a lot of monologue going on which makes kind of sense. I hope with whatever comes to my mind, that there will be a bit more action and dialogue in the upcoming chapters. Firstly I want to focus on the twins relationship before I go on and bring Sasuke into the game. That will be quite important since poor Pre-Masae has gone through a lot and gets attached to someone quite fast. So building and describing that would make sense._

 _I think you get what I mean, especially if you have read the prologue. So yeah, you could say that this is kind of slow-building, but I personally care a lot about through thought character developments and building relationships._

 _But be sure, Sasuke will make his entrance._

 _And now enjoy the chapter that features cute baby twins._

* * *

What is it like to be reborn, you ask? To get a second chance? Is it an appealing thought? Is there something like pain, maybe emotional ones when you were someone who wanted to die? The only pain ever existing is the unmanageable little body of yours. When a human is born, their memory isn't well developed enough and so are so many other things. Remembering and recalling events, information and memories are important to us. We rely on that whether we have to learn for tests, need to look back on specific things we looked up in the past and so on. So it's more likely that you don't remember what happened in your early months and years of life. First steps, words, drawings that had only a few sticks and the sun in one of the corners of the paper but still, the picture would have meant the world to you. And whoever tried to ruin it would be met with the force of unstoppable loud crying that in return, made them cry too. So being there and go through the whole development process with a mind much more built out than it should be for a nine-month-old is rather... _weird_.

But it's not like that gives me a big advantage, no. This small body is still doing its own things that make me want to facepalm mentally almost everytime. Still, whatever babies did is making you shine with smiles because it's just too cute.

Now for the big part. There are many speculations and thoughts about the afterlife. The Heaven and Hell concept, reborn into things that depend on actions and behavior from your previous life and even more. But wouldn't that mean I was a kind person with good manners and a sense of human understanding? Maybe, maybe not. All that what counted now and confused the heck out of me was the world I was reborn into. Naruto certainly is only fiction, but I don't wanna argue now about to what extent Anime or Manga is realistic. So it made zero sense to me as for why I would be reborn into a world like this. I mean its cool and things. Didn't we all want to be ninjas when we were kids?

And with that, there came a lot more confusions. First of all; _Chakra_. It's like this comfortable and warm buzzing feeling in your body, a set of completely new veins that moved fast through your figure. I first took notice of it when I started heaving myself up on chairs and other furniture. It felt like something was thoroughly supporting me. I wouldn't say it made me stronger and it certainly wasn't the reason I was able to hold myself up. For that, I was too young and my chakra control to underdeveloped. But still, there was something I had never felt before.

Maybe because I was too busy focusing on other things like language. To figure out it was Japanese wasn't that much of a problem since I had taken several classes for its culture before. Obviously, a normal baby wouldn't be able to yet understand its mother tongue even though it has heard it the first time in their mother's womb. But for me, it was even more frustrating because I had a much more developed brain and tried so hard to understand. Let me tell you, I'm really looking forward to age and get a hang out of this.

Then there was Itachi. I would lie if I said that I'm not aware of what happened and I could actually not just only reflect that information on my him but the whole clan. But still, I hadn't kept up with the Naruto storyline because of other problems that needed to be taken care of. And so I was god damn afraid. Afraid of what was going to happen, of where I would stand in all of this because originally, _there was no Uchiha Masae_. Could I even be strong and carefree enough to just change the story? I don't even know if I could prevent the Massacre to happen, for example, so afraid that I would fuck up so badly. But just sitting around having a bit of advanced information would be a waste of time. Still, I was no expert on the story, had not enough pieces of information to recall and it was more likely that I was leaving important bits out here.

Even so, in just those nine months I learned to love Itachi as a brother. As a friend. As someone, I didn't want to do all these horrible things. He is far way to precious for that. His calm aura makes me feel so safe around him, safer than I would have ever thought. And so was the whole Clan including my parents. Mikoto is a loveable and caring mother, always doing her best. Fugaku has troubles showing off his feelings, but that didn't mean he was heartless or cold. He cared about us the same way our Mother did.

Itachi was a fast learner. He picked Information up rather quickly and I sometimes felt a bit outnumbered. Even though I was older in mind, my brother seemed to have a definitely better control over his actions. Of course, his steps looked shaky and his balance was more than off, but Itachi managed many things I could not. Which made me jealous.

There was this time where I had finally managed to roll myself and lay flat on the stomach and sit up by myself. I didn't succeded yet to crawl and was more like robbing on the floor trying to move forward. Itachi all the while was able to slowly crawl, this proud grin on his face that showed off some of his teeth. And he was looking at me all proud and satisfied which made me a bit uneasy. My body didn't want to cry but yet resist and show off as well. In my head, I was all calm. My body; not so. But it wasn't like I had full control over it yet. So when Itachi was making grabby hands in my direction and got a hold of a fold in my pants, my body instinctively moved on its own, slapped my chubby hand on his head and grabbed him by the hair. I could tell it wasn't that much of a hard grip, but the action alone spoke for itself.

Itachi had retreated immediately and the face he was now making would have caused a sibling to run, because a crying sibling never meant something good. It always screamed danger. Save yourself before Mom arrives. But even though he was grimacing with his face slowly turning red as if he held his breath, nothing came. Though Itachi did whimper out a small "Mama". Then he set himself up and was looking at me, still pouting. Yes, a child could make someone feel like the worst person ever.

But there were also really adorable and appreciatable moments that I'm so glad I was part of. It was once during breakfast. Itachi and I were sitting next to each other, both of us in their own high chair, only separated by a small bit. We both were snacking happily on our small sliced banana pieces. And I guess my body had more fun playing with the food instead of eating it. But I think the squishy feeling of the banana caught its attention. I didn't really try and stop my form from doing so. Exploring is a really important part of growing up, even when I was going through this process a second time.

Mom and Dad always shared food with each other, helped themselves out with even the simplest tasks. Just like a freshly new couple.

Children copy. A lot. They copy almost everything they see because they can't select yet, don't know the concept of what is relevant and irrelevant. So just going with the flow is the best bet they have. I knew what sharing meant even though I wasn't actively doing it. My brother was. While I had still given my whole attention to the things happening in front of me, I saw something moving in the corners of my vision. And then there was suddenly a mashed up banana piece on my tray that certainly wasn't mine.

As I turned my head, my brother looked at me with expectant eyes.

"Na-na," he said pointing a pudgy finger on my tray.

"-na?" I knew what he was talking about, but this was more like this kind of 'what-response' you gave even though you perfectly understood the question that was asked.

And because this didn't belong to me, I gave it back to Itachi who was starting to whine. From the other side of the table, you could hear snickers clearly coming from Moms direction. All the while my brother was going for another try, picking up a banana piece, laying it down on my tray and trying again to pronounce the fruits name correctly. Experimentally I took the offer to my mouth, slowly chewing on it. And I guess I did the right thing because Itachi bounced up and down, squeaked and clapped his little hands together.

And if you thought this was the last piece he gave me, well, haha.

I really appreciate these memories and the love that comes with all of them. Times will surely get harder and there is no denying in it. So I'm trying to make the best out of the comfortable life I had so far and try not to think too much about what bad things are eventually going to happen.


	3. 二 - ni

_**AN**_ _: Hey guys! Finally, I can call this chapter done. There were a lot of difficulties during writing and it took me days to get a hang out of it. I do have to say that it is not the best thing I've written so far. Yeah, there is still a lot of monologues going on, but like this, I think you get a good idea of Masae. There will be a second part to this so in the next chapter we won't move to a completely new scene but stay right on the battlefield._

 _Having a blockade right in the middle of writing is not great at all and all my fellow writers out there; I feel ya. Also, I'm sorry if this chapter is filled with all sorts of misspellings. This is being written on my phone because my laptop decided to literally die. So I need to buy a new one which pisses me off, but it cant be helped._

 _That being said I hope you like this chapter. And I wanna thank you for all the reviews, favorites and follows!_

 _Also! I think I will stick with the current cover now. I had trouble making up what I want but now it fairly pleased_.

* * *

It wasn't until the age of four that a lot of things happened. These moments came with its time, sometimes too fast, sometimes too slow - if 'too slow' was even a thing in this world. In general, I had the feeling that the time was passing by really fast. Last time I remember I couldn't form words to express myself. Feelings, needs. This body of mine was in control of its own with no chance to reach out for it. Now I was walking, still at a slow pace and the gaze directed to the ground so that I wouldn't be tripping, but surely more steady than before. Not that looking down helped me. There were still many people around I could easily bump into. Though we don't want to talk about that one, do we?

The most beautiful thing I experienced this time around, was family. Finally, I could call a place home even though sometimes it just felt eerie. What I mean is getting attached to this world, all these characters, the whole story. In the back of my mind, I knew nothing here was really 'real'. It was a hotchpotch linking fiction and reality together, with me being caught in the midst of it. Giving all these wonderful pieces of memories a name to call by is a feeling I would never give up again.

And this is where a big problem of mine joins the game. Getting attached to quickly had always troubled me, though I never tried to fix it. It was just too hard.

I wouldn't consider myself a good talker nor an open person. Introverted wasn't the right word to describe me and so was extroverted. I knew me well enough to say when I wanted company and when not. Though I'm longing a lot for social contacts and for people to rely on. And when this condition isn't present, it lets me sunk deep down into a black hole of emptiness, feeling nothing but rejection and the fear of being disliked or hated even. Someone who gets told off because they're too loud when people need to concentrate is something quite understandable and will for most of the cases not be questioned.

But for me... I take things way to serious. The moment I'm faced with such criteria, there is no way I'm not thinking negatively about myself. I instantly feel sorry in the most horrible ways that I never want to come eye to eye with the person who just criticized me, ever again. This may sound childish to you, though I really care about those around me and I can't just disappoint them.

There was no way for me to call someone unknownst to me, Mom or Dad. But still, Mikoto and Fugaku were there for me, as a parental figure I could look up to. When I - Uchiha Masae - wasn't even supposed to be in this universe, they still showed appreciation and love. Everything that went so horribly wrong in the life before, where I thought that there was no way for me to get a second chance, I was blessed with this place, this family. And if people tell me that my clan is the worst of the worst: I don't care! Because you certainly don't understand the place I originally came from. How much I had to fight for this, what was now just gifted to me like its nothing.

The same goes for Itachi. A sibling. A friend. My brother, older by just a few minutes.

I never had siblings, but I did imagine a lot what it could be like. To have someone coming from the same place as you, that understands your problems exactly because they may experience the same thing. I love Itachi, I really do. It hurts to love him so bad because I know that there are things that I from a moral point of view would despise and call off. Him leaving the clan with dirty hands stained with the red color from dozens of people and joining Akatsuki. Yes, I knew this much and also was aware that this isn't something I could support nor tolerate. In the end, I knew it was going to happen and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

* * *

I was fast asleep when a sudden loud and shrill unknown clatter of metal made its way through the once so silent room, interrupting my sleep. Never had I been a heavy sleeper, always light on my feet even in my dreams. Although it still wasn't very nice to wake up to such a loud noise in the middle of the night. But in this world, something like this could actually mean danger and immediate defense mode. No weapons for a four-year-old available made this whole situation a bit tricky. And even if there were weapons in near reach, there was no way I could use them. I'd probably hurt myself more than I would my opponent.

So the only thing a little girl could do was hide. Under her blanket. Not the best technique but what do you expect? That I can pull off amazing Taijutsu at the least? Of course, I felt kind of stupid here, hiding under a blanket with every movement of my body noticeable. But like I said there are not many options I have.

I remained a few minutes longer under the blanket before I through it away from my figure, quickly checking my surroundings. Like I had been already figuring out it was still rather early, the insides of the room tinted in a light midnight blue and there were streaks of light through coming through the curtains, lightening the walls and the floor just enough to see through the darkness. There was nothing really off, but I did saw something moving in the corner of my eyes. Instantly I shed a glance at Itachi's bed only to find it empty.

"Sorry," came a mumble, piercing through the quiet night.

With that, my head turned immediately to the direction the voice came from only to be met with my brother's sorry gaze. Confused I starred right back at him, before shifting my glance more downwards to get a hang out of what was happening. And then I saw it. There were Kunai all splattered across the floor and empty kunai holster right next to them. As he noticed my eyes fixating on them, Itachi recklessly collected them all together almost cutting himself a few times in the process and shoved them quickly back into its holster.

And as if I wasn't confused enough, him tying the straps of the holster to his upper thigh, readjusting them here and there to prevent them from opening so easily a second time, left me even more bewildered.

"Itachi, what are you doing?", I asked slowly not wanting that he breaks free without answering.

"Going outside." And he said it like it was the most logical thing in the world. I mean he was not in his nightgown anymore and had his sandals on. Oh, if Mom would know he entered the house and rooms with his shoes on, it would pretty much be over for him. "Go back to sleep. Won't take long." He quickly cut off my own thoughts.

I opened my mouth and tried to say something when no words were being said. Itachi did have a habit of doing everything himself and I could - no matter what - do nothing about it. The only thing it leads us to was me following my brother making sure he is alright when I knew he would be even without me.

Since the war had been raging on, we weren't really allowed to go anywhere nor pass the clans compound. It was a harsh decision made up by Mikoto to keep us safe. But it also didn't give us much space to move out. Not that we had lots of friends that we missed and wanted to meet so desperately, though staying in the house all the time only leaving to get grocery shopping done was rather boring.

And yes, you have heard correctly. War. The Third Shinobi War to be exact.

Because I was home for most of the time, I didn't notice that something was off. I still followed the same daily routine as ever with no signs of violence involved. All I could feel was the uneasiness in the clan. If you listened closely to conversations, you could hear a hint being dropped here and there. Not that it was that much of a big secret, how could it be? But to a child's ears that wasn't something you should mention quite frequently. Children sense worry and problems sometimes faster than an adult.

So much thinking didn't even have me realizing that Itachi was about to make its way through the door. I never asked him about this, but I had the faint feeling of annoying him with following him everywhere he did go like I was his shadow. He never complained, but he always told me to stay home.

With my dark hair tousled in every direction possible, a small and thin blanket tied around my shoulders, the Knot close to my neck and my dirty and worn sandals on, I followed Itachi fast through the chill air. He was faster than me which I would not only solemnly say because I was only awake for a few minutes, but because he was either way. I tried to stop being jealous a long time ago, but Itachi really was a prodigy that left me in awe.

With no orientation of where we were going, I trusted my brother big much.

* * *

We had been running for a while and my legs were slowly starting to protest. Running on long-term had never been a great strength of mine. Not in my pre-life but also here I would have major problems if I don't work on my stamina.

The whole time I had been asking Itachi questions. Where are we going? Why so early in the morning? Do you want to meet someone? And all these questions were left unanswered making me not exactly feel better. Uneasiness made its way through my veins sending chills through my body that didn't leave me shivering from the cold outside, but the fear that was boiling up. And soon it was clouding my mind.

In the far distance, you could hear shouting, screams filled with agony and pain. There was the familiar clattering one could hear when metal met metal. Bloodcurdling screams so loud that birds made its way high up into the air, trying to escape the loud atmosphere and find a safer place for them where it would be much quieter. And now I knew exactly where we were heading.

The battlefield.

It was exactly how you imagined it, how I have seen it in documentaries, movies, and other devices. Loud, raw, all fair and square gone. There was clirring when metal met metal. Bloodcurdling screams filled the air and made the birds fly high up, leaving to find a much quieter place to stay for the night. And one point made it even more real; dead bodies, blood. But what was I expecting?

This was war. This was what the shinobi world was. Cold and merciless. Being a Ninja is all fun and games until you have to enter battle. When I now think about it... did I still wanted to become a strong, independent shinobi? Would I be able to have the guts even fighting someone of my own kin? Right now I could only answer these questions with a big no.

But I still wanted to achieve change and there was no way I could do that without doing anything. Sitting around, waiting for things to happen, to just let luck fall right in front of my feet; impossible. And I knew that so well that it hurt.

Itachi was a bit ahead of me, standing near on the edge of a cliff, his gaze fixated on the things happening in the very front of his eyes. Making my way up to him was horrible and nerve-racking. I wanted to scream every time I stepped onto something that was not the concrete I was supposed to walk on.

I embraced Itachi as soon as I came up to him. He was still following the battle with an intense stare, completely knocked out any thought. With every explosion going off my body trembled more and more, leaning into Itachi even closer. Although it didn't give me the security I hoped so dearly for.

"So... This is war.. The Great Shinobi War." Itachi trailed off shocked and uncomfortable, his chest rumbling with every word he said.

Yes, it is. Is that what you came here for, Itachi? Did you really want to see all of this?

"Please 'tachi, please, let's go home." I only managed to whimper.


	4. 三 - san

_**A/N**_ _: Hi! Sorry, I have been trying to update more frequently, but even with the holidays still going, I don't really find the time to. Plus I have been thinking about where the story will leads. Seriously; I have no idea tbh. I think I will just go with the flow, wherever this will go. But yeah. In this chapter, we continue on the battlefield. There won't be much happening.. I guess? And I think I'll introduce Sasuke far earlier than I had actually planned. With how I want to continue it just makes sense. But I know me and I also know I switch things up pretty quickly in short periods of time. Trust me, at some point, this will get really confusing. And forget what I had been saying about "Yeah, this cover is nice, gotta keep it". Nah, I'm already working on another one..._

 _But enough with the talking! Enjoy and thanks again for all the favs and follows, such as reviews!_

* * *

Even as I begged to go home, in the end - we didn't. Of course, I could have gone home myself. Theoretically. But I just couldn't. First of all - I was too fearful to go alone. To step over enormous numbers of corpses, into puddles filled with crimson liquid that would splash up my legs as I ran fast through them. No, I didn't want that. It was just... wrong. I felt sick the moment I thought about it. Plus, I was clinging strictly to the ' _go nowhere alone_ ' rule.

Secondly, Itachi. I didn't want to leave him here alone. Although he did intend on going here alone in the first place. If it wouldn't have been for the kunai that fell to the ground earlier this morning, I would have never known. Never noticed him being gone despite the fact that we were sharing a room. Itachi had always been light on his feet. Ha, I bet chances were low I'd even hear him escaping through the creaking door of ours. There was no jealousy or anything, but I was worried about him. Worried about this whole situation. Why would he want to come here so badly?

Sadly, Itachi never gave me an answer to that. Like so many other questions that were left unanswered.

The sun at the horizon was slowly rising, leaving the sky tinted a pretty pink-lilac color. Even though the clouds were still a heavy grey on the biosphere, the blue was creeping its way on top of it. We hadn't really changed positions in all these hours that had passed. Stayed where we were, near the cliff.

The blanket that once hung around my shoulders was now placed on top of my head, kind of like a small hood. It was supposed to keep me warm during the night. I had asked Itachi several times if he wanted to share because I knew he would be cold. But he always declined the offer with a short smile, saying he doesn't really need it. Aside from that, it was a great shield against the sun rays that were peeking out from behind the clouds. They came and went in a steady rhythm until they stayed continuously.

That didn't really give me a lot of vision, but I could deal with that. Moreover, I wouldn't have to take a look around my surroundings. I waddled over to my brother, who was near the cliff, staring into the sky like he hadn't done this for hours now. What are you thinking, Itachi?

"You think... it's over now?" Itachi asked as I settled down beside him - the sides of the blanket dirty now with dust and mud, but still shoved to the sides of my face. From his side, it would look like I had no chance to breathe through it at all.

But his question nonetheless was surprising me.

Of course, we would never know if this was the end of it. This was a war held over nations, thousands of battlefields and that was just one of them. One of so many. Just because of this fight being over didn't mean it was entirely. And with entirely I was referring to the war and its outcomes. But for now, you could say its over. Still, I was a bit uncertain. I knew Itachi hoped for it to be over. That my answer would be a clear and honest 'yes'. I wasn't really sure if he'd rely on whatever I was responding with, but he just seemed so helpless.

It hurts.

"I don't know," was all I was able to say.

I wished there would be more than that. But I was no foreseer. Couldn't have the answers to all the possible questions out there. I didn't even have the strength to answer them. Not without getting morals and emotions in the way.

"I think this is bad," I continued, waving a clothed hand to gesture behind, beside, in front of us. "Fighting is bad. Let's never fight."

I know, I was being embarrassingly dramatic here. But it was also the complete truth. Itachi and I had never really fought. We had disagreements of course. I mean, who has not? Though it never tore us apart to the point of screaming at each other, throwing mean words around like it was the most casual thing in the world. It wasn't like that would happen either. Before that, Mom would probably kill us for swearing in the house.

We'd seen our parents fighting. Both of us didn't know what about, but it sounded heavily like clan issues. Something that wasn't meant for child's ears. However, sometimes they were so loud, I couldn't sleep. When we were still up and ate dinner, you could feel the tension and tightness in the air. Itachi and I got a feeling of when something got wrong or there was something to discuss because then, we were always sent to bed so early.

Don't get me wrong, they weren't fighting all the time. Arguments happen, there is no denial in that. But seldom it got really out of hand to the point, where I was really nervous. Occasionally Mom even came to our room after the volume of the house had turned down, to check if we were asleep. When we weren't asleep, she apologized and told us how much she loved us. Which made me wonder if they were fighting because of us. Because of Itachi and I. But we didn't do anything wrong, did we? I seriously shouldn't think about such a thing.

"Yeah, fighting is bad," Itachi responded, kicking a stone right off the cliff.

I tried to listen to it fall to the very ground, but my ears were not good enough to do so. Also, we were too far up to hear it land. Somewhere... down there.

He sat himself down too, hurdling a bit towards myself. But words remained unsaid if there was even something to be mentioned. Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw Itachi fidgeting with his fingers. Itachi never did that. Not unless there was something going on. Or at least that was what my conclusion had been. When after minutes of silence passed I was pretty sure I wouldn't get anything out of him.

So I just blindly threw half of my blanket in his direction, letting me in the thinking it would cover him just enough. It was a weird way to approach the situation where we both were just sitting here, near a cliff, behind us a dead view. A total disaster. How come Itachi had been so calm? How come I had been so calm when I remember freaking out when we came here just hours ago. Maybe Itachis calmness did turn off on me. That was actually no question, it was no 'maybe'. It was an exact true fact that had been there for as long as I knew Itachi.

The blanket, however, stuck only to a small part of his left side, threatening to slide right off again. And with that my hood was undone, short raven hair tussled in every direction possible. Itachi didn't flinch. Didn't have any reaction at all. But he had stopped fidgeting.

"Are you scared?" Itachi asked suddenly out of nowhere.

Scared of what exactly? I was scared by many things. All the humans were. Some quite fond of these anxieties, some trying to hide them between hard bearers of attitude and a naive mindset.

I made a small sound of approval.

"Then why are you here?"

"'Cause I don' wanna be alone," I mumbled, playing with the ends of the blanket.

"But Mom and Dad are home," Itachi responded, "They worry."

"Then they worry about you too." I retorted because it only made sense. Fugaku had always put great faith and trust in Itachi. I don't think he would even be that worried, given that he knew his son would just pull it off. But that wasn't the same for me. It would never be. And I also didn't want it. Want all these great skills to prove how good I'm at that and that jutsu. I do want to be a Ninja. But not to live up someone's pride because they simply can't do it themselves. I wanted to be a fighter of my own. Own will, own heart.

And after that, Itachi went quit. When I thought this conversation was over, he added: "Stay with Mom and Dad next time. 'S not good here."

See who's talking. But I held back, not answering on this one because I know it had been true. Though still, it left me feeling a little... weak. He was right, but I didn't want to listen to that.

There was rustling going on coming from somewhere near us, probably from my left side. I didn't dare to look. I wanted, but just couldn't. Itachi stood up raising his head towards the source of the noise.

"Wa-..ter, Water!" someone was pleading, voice rough and drained. I guessed it came from the constant screaming and shouting out battle cries. I don't know if I was surprised when Itachi took off to run for the elder man.

Still, a quick feeling of panic washed over me and I immediately turned my head towards my brother who was not that far away. I got a few steps closer yet still remained quite the distance. If I recognized the village signs correctly that I had seen in many books, then this man was from Iwagakure. The village was located in the Land of Earth. That is about what I did remember, leaving the fact out that I could make a mistake. Right now it didn't matter, though.

Itachi picked out a water bottle from one of his side pockets, opening it quickly with his teeth like he was in a rush. The bottle gave a satisfying 'blob' as it was opened, ready for usage. With one arm sneaking under the man's neck for support and the other holding the bottle steadily to his mouth, the elder was drinking like his life depended on it. What a spiel of words...

The man swallowed vigorously the last bits of it, closing his eyes in relief as he let go of the bottle.

"Thanks," he said with his voice still strained.

Everything that happened in the next minutes was too fast for me to keep track off. The older mal had suddenly sprung to life with a kunai quickly drawn out of his holster, charging fast at Itachi who was still located on the ground, kneeling down.

"Itachi!" I shouted.

But like always, said boy kept his cool and dealt with this situation like he had been doing this all his time.

Itachi was quick to realize the danger and also drew a kunai out of its holster. He waited a moment, the battle cry of the man charging at him weapon raised and ready to kill. Then with a smooth slice, Itachis kunai came in contact with the throat of the older male. Leaving behind an ugly gush of blood. The guy from Iwagakure made his last gurgling sounds before the battlefield once fell into its silence atmosphere.

 _Oh, my... I- I just..._

This, this was horrible. It made me want to cry. My brother had just- he had...

Why was I that surprised? I had seen this scene before. People killing people. Itachi killing people. It shouldn't have been all this new to me. War made horrible things to different personalities. To individuals. All the movies I have seen in my pre-life could never live up to what I was seeing now. Of course, it had been a full defense on Itachis side, but the whole killing part had set me off.

He was a child. He was not supposed to do something like that.

"What are you two doing out here?" came a stern voice from behind me and I flinched. Dad.

Whilst I tried to come up with a reasonable excuse for why we were here because Itachi never told me his intentions, I had not really enough time to do so. Then my brother had gone on with the story, asking questions as to why that Iwagakure Shinobi tried to kill him.

"Because this is war. It's war between nations and not between people. That is the reason why strangers kill each other meaninglessly." Dad explained, his voice still harsh. "Never forget that, Itachi. Never forget that."

Then Dad turned to me. "I don't even wanna know why you're here, because I can exactly imagine why," he kneeled down to get to my eye level, "I know you respect the rules, Masae. But sometimes you need to work against them."

What was that even supposed to mean?

"But 'Tachi was here," I sulked, "He took care."

"I know he did. I trust him to take care of his younger sister. But it's too dangerous out here. You are not supposed to be here. Neither alone nor with your brother together. Just... just stay home the next time, okay?"

And there we go again. Why not just tell me straight to my face that I'm worth nothing. You have no idea how some comment like this hurts me. We both are four-year-olds. Four years! I knew Itachi was a prodigy and that would never change. But I'm being left behind. I can do things too, you know? Maybe not yet, but surely in the future.

And there goes my inner conflict. I had learned to love Fugaku, yes. But sometimes he was just, ugh. I did have a hard time seeing through his facade.

Every time I was faced with the cruelty of reality I wanted nothing but escape. Was this because I'm a girl? Female? Weak? Weak because I was female? I hoped not, because there were so many powerful women out there who made it far enough to call themselves strong, independent and just- just confident. Take Tsunade for example or Kurenai. Basically every Kunoichi ever! Why didn't he have that trust in me? Dad, tell me.

Why?


	5. 四 - shi

_**A/N**_ _: There is not much to say, so I gotta keep this short. Updates will be slow in the next weeks and I hope I manage to update as fast as I can, but please, don't push._ _The school will be a hell to start with again and with that being said I think you get the point across. I also try to make the chapters a bit longer, but right now there isn't a lot happening and pushing several events into one chapter is not really my kind of style or at least see yet no reason to do so._

 _Now enjoy some babies learning the alphabet._

* * *

"So," Mom kept tapping her finger against her chin, eyes wavering through the room as she thought of a character for us to spell or somewhat try to write on our own. Sometimes she even used characters to form words with, using the furniture around us.

Itachis sheet of paper was already well filled; Hiragana characters in no specific order scribbled down. He kind of disrespected the stroke order often, since that was a tick too much at one time. Even though Mom took care to explain to us the right stroke order of the hiragana alphabet.

Hiragana itself wasn't hard. It was pretty easy and light to remember. We had most of the alphabet itself down, except for combinations. Because when I looked down Kanji, I just wanted to cry out of frustration. Of course, we weren't yet taking these through, but there would be a point when we were.

"Why don't we start with names, hm? I know you can already write yours, Itachi." She smiled as she looked at her son, leaning over the table to see said boy taking action. Again - with ignoring stroke orders - he began drawing a trembling ' **い** ' as well following closely ' **た** ' and ' **ち** '. The mine of his pencil was cracking at some points due to his hard pressing on the paper. The small screeching sound that came with the last curve made mom cringe, rubbing her hand over her arm to rub over her goosebumps.

"Good job!" Mom praised Itachi by ruffling his hair and settling back down again. "Now," and immediately her attention went back to me, smiling the same way she did at my brother.

Growing up with the Latin alphabet which consists of 26 letters, it was hard to adjust to the Japanese writing system. Hiragana, Katagana, Kanji, Romaji and so on and there were even combinations in between all of them.

I cursed my adult mind for not operating with me here, though it just seemed very complicated. Once you got the hang out of it you won't have troubles anymore. But first you had to achieve this point and until then, there was a long journey ahead of me.

I knew the 46 letters of the Hiragana alphabet, but it just occurs quite often that I switched them up entirely in between.

There appeared to be no connection to the additional letters anymore, and the words simply didn't make any sense. When Mom wrote her grocery list, she often let us write down particular items that we knew down too. Just to practice writing such as understanding again and again.

So it happens to be that I was nervous about writing down dog food instead of ice cream.

"Ma," Mom vocalized gently, whilst I wrote down the character ' **ま** '. I always tried to follow the stroke order: drawing the two straight parallel lines first and complete the rest with another straight line through the shorter ones, leaving a curve at the end. When I was finished with the first character, I sat back a little and observed it. Itachi had also leaned over the table to see the result.

But of course, I wasn't finished yet.

The second character followed, voiced out slowly by Mom and this time, Itachi as well. ' **さ** '. I often messed up the _Sa_ part, mistook it with Za ( **ざ** ), Ki ( **き** ) or even Gi ( **ぎ** ).

Itachis soft "You got it right this time" only signed up this statement. I know he didn't mean it in a bad way, that he just showed his acknowledgment with a smile on his face as he nudged a pudgy finger into the direction of the wavering 'Sa'. I smiled back at him all the same. Then he dropped back a bit to give me some space to draw the last and final character.

Usually - if you spelled Masae - you ended up with three Hiragana characters that are known as **まさえ**. As I started to draw down the last one of them, Mom began to chuckle. But I chose not to react but to concentrate on the very last letter. As I didn't saw a mistake, I looked up to my still chuckling Mom that now held a hand in front of her mouth to keep her from laughing.

"It's wrong?" I murmured more to myself than anyone else, looking intensely at the last character. It seemed alright to me, though.

"Honey, you wrote Su, not E. Su is part of the Katakana alphabet." She took her own paper and asked for my pencil with a small hand gesture. I gave it to Mom, watching her as she started to scribble down the same character I just did. Just a whole lot smoother and neat looking, with the right stroke order."This is what you wrote, Su," Mom turned her paper so that I could see the skillfully drawn ' **ス** '. "But this is what is correct," Again she started to draw, handing me over the paper when she was done. "Here you go."

Oh, and now I saw the difference. ' **え** ' would have been correct, yet I misspelled and wrote ' **ス** ' instead. And that was the dilemma with too many options to choose from. Not that it held the idea of choosing. But either way, there were many characters who looked the same to me, but put together didn't make sense.

And that frustrates me. I wanted to understand it and be able to differ. I wanted to know that now and not with years and years of practice.

Itachi was just about to correct my mistake with his own pencil as I shoved his arm out of the way, making him halt. "No." was all I said with half grunted teeth. Itachi abruptly retreaded and started to doodle awkwardly on the free spaces left on his paper.

I appreciate your help 'Tachi, but I wanna figure this out myself.

With me aggressively trying to write the right letter, I hadn't seen Mom coming who walked around the table to sit beside me.

"You know Masae, you're doing so great. But not everybody can be good at everything first hand. Yet your will to learn is incredible, but if you have the opportunity to get help from other people, let it be your father, I or your brother then take those." She put thumb and index finger under my chin to make me look up at her.

"I want you two to know that you can always come to me, okay? There will be busy times. However, there will be always time for later. And the same goes for you too, you hear Itachi?" The said boy just looked at his Mom, nodding in understanding.

"Good." Mom lets go and pressed a wet kiss to Itachi and mines cheek. I wiped off the excess with my sleeve and rubbed my nose afterward. No, I wasn't crying, it just happened to be a little itchy. "I'm gonna make lunch now, don't go too far away. I don't want you both out there again." Mom scolded the last time before she stood up.

Yesterday was pretty rough when we came home a bit after breakfast had started. Mom had been worried herself to death when she saw that neither of her children was in their room or anywhere near the house. When Fugaku entered the house later with a dirty blanket folded under his arm and the two missing children in towrope, Mikoto hadn't known what to do first. Hug them and be glad their here or punish them, ground them even. In the end, they got away with light chores in the house and the instruction to not leave the Uchiha compound.

My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. When I turned my head I glanced into Itachis dark expecting eyes.

"Look, I wrote our names," he announced with a small smile on his face as he regarded to his paper. With his index finger, he started with three recognizable characters. "That is my name. This is yours," his finger had moved a bit down, resting it a bit to let that information sink in before dropping down two names again that he introduced with Mom and Dad. I didn't know their Hiragana, yet was not surprised that Itachi did.

And then his finger moved over the final characters at the bottom of the other four names. **うちは**.

"Uchiha."


	6. 五 - go

_**AN:** Hello dear people! A short chapter again and we're still moving on slowly and with time. I know I said that I want this story to be updated regularly, but it's been a stressful time and I'm glad for every free day that I can get. Where I can just relax and do nothing. I'm still figuring out where I wanna go with Masae and it sure takes its time. I have a plan how I see her in the future or more the Naruto original timeline, but her younger self is slow. I mean, I still want to introduce Shisui and even Izumi and build on that. Ugh, there just too many things I want to include lol_

 _I will basically random update now because this is much more comfortable for me. Though I will not forget this nor my other story. I really want to finish them, even if it will take some time._

* * *

The next days passed by and nothing important happened. We went to a small lake the other day. The water had a comfortable temperature and only the fresh drinks Mom brought with her, could cool us down a little. Weather was hot these days and I spend hours in front of our fan, sneaking behind Mom or Dad when they swung theirs in front of their face for a little relief. I never had been a friend of overly high climate and try to avoid the outside as much as possible when it turned really warm. Yesterday we celebrated a birthday of one of Mom's friends. It was fun, and I got to meet new people. Her birthday had actually passed several weeks ago, but due to Maho not being home, there was no celebration. Maho, a woman in her late twenties, always on the go and rarely home, happened to be one of the kindest persons I've met so far. She's carefree, and I enjoyed the overly enthusiastic conversations with her.

Maho also had a son who was a few years older than Itachi and me. Banri already attended the academy and told us a lot about it. His teachers, the nice old janitor and the big playground where he joined his friends during lunchtime. He also showed us his shuriken. They didn't use them yet at the academy, but Banri couldn't wait until the time was ripe. Itachi too was fascinated by them. _"They're sharp! Don't touch them! You'll get a cut. Look! This right here- you see that? This is a scar. You won't get one of those, they hurt!"_ Banri had told the four-year-old boy, who just looked at him with a blank face, as he pointed to the tip of his index finger.

Both of the boys had left to do something in the backyard that Banri wasn't telling with a big grin on his face. I stayed with Mom and Maho, sitting in her lap whilst she played with the ends of my dark locks. It had been a peaceful day, and I enjoyed every minute. Mom started talking about our enrollment in the academy and both parents compared behavior progressions to their kids, with me slowly falling asleep.

* * *

"There you go." Mom huffed, adjusting the collar of my neck one last time. The jacket I wore was a bit too big on my small body, but it did its job. Weather instantly switched itself back to a much cooler climate and the sudden change made me all tired. Even Itachi had been taking more naps this time around and wailed because of his head hurting. I nodded Mom a 'thanks' and took the last bite of my dried seaweed I hadn't finished for breakfast. Today I would be on the go alone with Mom. That rarely happened since we always did stuff together. The only person missing most of the time was Dad. But today he and Itachi went to a funeral for the lost ones that died, fighting for their country.

"You don't wanna come too?" Itachi asked me, sitting down in the genkan to put his shoes on, dressed in black.

"No, it's sad there."

"Okay." His final answer sounded a little sad. I knew that Itachi could do plenty of things alone, so a funeral together with Dad wouldn't be a problem. But I guess he felt a little out-of-place being the only young child there. Or so I assumed.

Itachi stood up after his feet were secured into his shoes, giving a small tap on his right tiptoes. Dad came soon too, already dressed up and ready to go. He kissed Mom goodbye, ruffled my hair in a playful manner and made his way to the front door. Dad grabbed a big umbrella whilst he waited for his son. The ever so bright sky had been really cloudy and dark today and rain was soon to be expected. If it wasn't raining already. Mom bent down to give Itachi a big smooch on his forehead, which he wiped away after with his sleeve, embarrassed. I and my brother never did a big goodbye saying since we knew we would see each other by the end of the day. So we just waved our hands and smiled.

Sometimes we also hugged ourselves. Surprisingly, my brother had always been the first one to make a move and earlier it would've surprised me. But now that isn't much of a deal anymore and I enjoy it. Even though his hugs were mostly sideways and slightly uncoordinated, I loved them anyway.

* * *

I hated waiting rooms. They were boring and boring, and boring. The walls were bright, decorated with pictures of the construction of the ear, muscles and more. Mom didn't tell me where we were going and it surprised me when it turned out to be the Doctor's office. But she reassured me that this visit wasn't about me but rather her. And that worried me. She visited the Doctor rarely because Mom got like… literally never sick. She also wasn't a fan of medication and relied on nature her own. And that's a good thing. So when we got sick, she never pampered us with medication too but made tea and let gave us a lot of rest. When Mom got sick, she was down. K.O. Even if her cold just lasted a few days, it still seemed like her body signed up for every bad thing out there. Though she smiled brightly at me the whole time, tapped my nose and let me lean onto her. I smiled back and took the offer, leaning against her upper arm.

My gaze swept through the room, observing everything and everyone. In one corner of the room, next to a small window was a small table with chairs. There were colorful crayons and paper on top. Mom had shoved me into that direction, but I didn't feel like drawing. Plus, there were other people there I didn't know. Stranger Danger. Internally I knew I could have handled it, but I was still a child with a body acting on its own. And that small body of mine often decided to not have strangers near me. At all. I got a good hang out of my new young frame. My actions weren't that uncoordinated anymore as they were before and I had more control over it. Though there are still things where my body works against me. And one thing were strangers.

There weren't many other patients in by now. Most of them had left as they are done with their appointment. Still left was a young woman, maybe in her late twenties and her round stomach gave away that she is pregnant. She was busy writing something in a small notebook and every now and then she tapped the end of her pen against her lips, thinking. Sometimes she looked up at me and smiled before returning to her notebook. It wasn't long until her name was called out, one, that I didn't know. Maybe she's just a normal civilian. Lately, I had been into Ninjas a lot and eyed the people in the street more 'intense'. Looked at their clothes and if their wore gear or something related to it, I immediately followed their every move. I know, I was being a creep and my parents told me to stop starring because it's rude. Though my interest and eagerness to learn were telling me differently.

So we sat there and waited for a few more minutes in which I walked around the room, clapping onto every seat I passed and even picked up the magazine that one woman hadn't put away properly onto the small glass table in the middle of the room. I was so busy that I didn't even recall Mom being called out. There was a woman smiling next to her, leading us into a room and told us to wait and that the doctor will arrive soon. When she closes the door behind her, I groaned.

"No waiting…" I mumbled into Mom's shoulder as she placed me into her lap with a grunt.

"We're almost done, Sweety." Mom said softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

* * *

I was quiet when we left the Doctor's office. Mom still held onto my hand as we walked back home, grinning from ear to ear. She looked so happy. I think I have never seen her this happy before. This smiley. But I needed time to progress. Things were moving to fast and now… now it would only be a matter of months.

"You're fourteen weeks along and the baby is developing just fine," I remember the Doctor's words, how Mom shed a few tears and I just said there on a high stool, blinking at the monitor of the ultrasound device. Wasn't it yesterday that I sat up for the first time, saying the first word, got my teeth and cried because it hurt so much? When did time passed by so fast?

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled. Happy to be a big sister. Happy, that I will have a younger sibling. Another sibling. I don't know a lot about Naruto and its Universe. I saw scenes of the anime, know basic things, but am still terrified at the same time. This isn't something I can just google about and I can't prepare myself. I know that there will be the Nine-tails attack just after a few months Sasuke will be born. I know that Sasuke will leave the village. But that's everything. And I don't know if I even want to change that. Because I'm no one to move around and mess everything up. But too much time had already passed. And I wouldn't even know what to change exactly. Maybe the baby will be different. Maybe it will not even be named Sasuke. Maybe it will all turn out super duper bright and pink and happy.

Or maybe I'm just worrying too much.


End file.
